2. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended with enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.

3. Fortuitous elegance; unstudied grace; -- used especially of language.

Happiness consists of someone being in a state of gracefulness, positive nature, helpfulness, fortunate, knowledgeable, and content.  These words describing "happiness", does it apply to me?!?!

I show that I am graceful, positive nature, fortunate, smart, and always smiling.  So WHY am I not happy?

It's simple really: These qualities of being "happy" are only the forefront of what I truly feel; miserable, unfriendly, rude, pestimistic, not smart, and uncontent with who I am.

Will there be a way to truly be happy if what I want to be is different than what I really am?

OR is it that what I truly feel is happy, but I don't want to be happy?

Who DOESN'T want to be happy?  Like WHY would someone not WANT to be happy with who they are?

It's because that person's perception of who he wants to be is different than who he is really is.

Is there a way to bridge a gap?  OF COURSE, when you know who you "think" you are and who you "truly" are!

When will you know you ask...  "I have NO idea right now, cuz I'm in this predicament!"

This is what I learned from work "Is this truly who I am, or is it who I want to be?"

The answer now is "I don't know yet..."  That answer will come to me soontime!

EDIT: There is NO definite answer that I can think of at the moment, but all I can do is keep on going.  The answer will come eventually, whether it's through this job or something else entirely different.  There's no point dwelling and TRYING to figure it out.  You'll realize soon enough that it's not the answer that's important, but the process of getting TO the answer.

Why do I feel a sense of loniness???  I have reading week, and no one asks me to do anything AT ALL!  WHY WHY WHY?????  I guess everyone is busy doing their own thing...  so sad...  I need something to keep me busy!!!

And why I do I feel this way?  Is it because of a certain event that happened to me???  I shouldn't feel this way though!  I've been through it before, why does the feeling come back after something like this happens???  My gosh...  I guess that's life, and that's the way it is...

THIS SUCKS!!!!!

I will become a stronger person, I will get through this, I can do this!  I know I can!  Like the Skittles commerical says, when the man in the train says:

"I think I can; I think I can..."

Now DO IT!!!